Survivor Read online

  And with that, he turned and went outside the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

  They rushed in as soon as the door closed, a chaotic tangle, rising and rising, threatening to overwhelm me. What would he…? How would this…? Would we…?

  “Here.”

  Right now, he wasn’t Sen. He’d arrived back, a disembodied slice of muscular abs and hard cock confined by his skin tight boxers, with a bottle of water in one hand and a loop of rope in the other. He pushed the cold bottle into my hands, cracking the lid first and closing my fingers around it.

  “Drink.”

  My mind grabbed the simple word, and I lifted it to my lips and sucked the liquid down. As if awakened by the sensation of water in my mouth, I felt the dryness of my mouth, roughened from so many kisses, my body accepting the fluid gratefully.

  “Good girl,” he said, running his hand down the side of my face, and I found my eyes closing. The weight of it was comforting, grounding. When I focussed on the feel of it against my skin, the calluses on his palms, the stink of nicotine, everything else fell away. It was like the breathing exercises Ophelia had prescribed, bringing my awareness back to the here and now.

  Then he put his hand on my hip, urging me up on all fours, and his hands lingered as he drew off the robe I’d been hiding in, throwing it to the floor. They returned quickly, stroking down my back, my flanks, and between my thighs, his chuckle dancing along my skin when I parted them willingly.

  “Soon,” he promised. “Now, up to the head of the bed. Put your wrists up on the headboard if you’re OK with me tying you up.”

  Was I? That question mark threatened to trigger it all off again—that cascade of worries, future telling, mind reading, and fear that hyper-vigilance brought with it.

  “Hands on the headboard, Flick. If you don’t like what’s happening, say Kade and everything stops. I’ll have you untied and free within seconds, I promise.”

  I’d underestimated how much trust was required when I’d put this on the table as I froze there for a second, then crawled forward. My heart raced as I placed my hands on the wooden bar, and my fingers tightened stiffly around the smooth surface.

  “Good girl.” His voice was so rich and dark, I felt like I could fall into it. The sound almost had a body to it, the words sliding over me.

  He stroked me like you would the animal that hid under my skin, and my back arched up under his caress. I felt an instinctive need to be silent, so I needed to show in other ways that this pleased me.

  “Mm…seeing that spine all long and loose, you threaten my control, pet. Now, I’m going to tie this rope around your wrists. It’ll be a little firm, but not too much. If you decide you like it, we can do some tighter holds with better rope, but for now, this will have to suffice. If you feel any circulation issues like numbness or tingling, say Kade straight away. Same goes for pain—”

  I nodded.

  I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke again. “Eager, love? I like that.” I quivered when I felt his warm grip, the rope placed around my wrists in a figure eight that brought them together, then he lashed them to the bar.

  “Fuck, Flick…” His growl felt like it filled the room with desire and, it took me a moment to place it, reverence. That was supported by his hands, as his palms, so much bigger than mine, spanned my body, brushing over my breasts, making me long for them to linger, making my nipples ache for attention. “You’re so bloody beautiful. I’m gonna make you come so hard, and then…” My hips jerked when his fingers slipped between my thighs, trailing through the seeping wetness. “Then I’m gonna line my cock up and bury it in you, cover myself in you, give you everything that’s been building inside me until we both burst.”

  A whimper crept past my lips, my teeth biting down to stop more. One minute, we’d been talking through things, and the next, I was transformed into this wanting, needing thing. I needed everything he described, to feel the moment that mask slipped and shattered, when he unleashed upon me. My thighs closed, hoping to hold him there just a little longer for a few more strokes…

  “Keep your thighs open, Flick,” he said. “I need you open for all I want to give you, up until you decide we need to stop. That’s right. Keep that position, or I’ll be forced to stake your legs out. That’s it.” I felt his knuckles grazing me, the backs of his fingers brushing my sopping folds, then heard the sucking sound of them being cleaned when he pulled away. “Need to taste you, love. Watching those boys bury their faces in you had me aching.”

  He wasn’t doing anything the others hadn’t as I felt him settle on the bed behind me, trailing his hands down the back of my legs before sweeping them up. But not where I needed them to be. The knowledge of what he was going to do, that he wouldn’t say the words if he didn’t mean them, drew inarticulate noises from my throat as I felt his hands holding me still. His breath was the first thing I sensed, sending a prickle of sensation over me, then his tongue flicked out.

  His hands bit down into the soft flesh of my thighs as his tongue slid effortlessly through me. “Mm…” I liked his helpless little moan, his tongue delving deeper as if I was some kind of delicious fruit he wanted more of. His licks became a little less practised but no less thorough, covering every inch of me, which only made me want more. He chuckled when I pushed back, as far as my limited range would allow, and his fingers dug into my hips. Well, those that weren’t sliding inside me.

  “So needy. I like that about you, Flick. I feel like all of us could give you everything we have and you’d still need more, making me want to push us harder.”

  His fingers zeroed in on my g-spot, pressing down, but not as firmly as Noah had. He seemed to know it was a little sensitive, but I threw my head back, groaning as the heat spread through my body. They found a steady rhythm, and my hips matched its pace, pulling uselessly against the bonds.

  “Not too far,” he murmured into my ear, shuffling me forward a bit with a hand on my butt. “You don’t want the ropes cutting in. There. You’ve got a bit of movement, but not without putting strain on your wrists.”

  I couldn’t focus on my wrists right now, not as his fingers worked me in a methodical efficiency. The contrast between an almost mechanical movement, designed to drive me mad in as short a time as possible, and his gentle words, lavishing praise upon my whole being, was dizzying. Was he a machine, my lover, or something else? My head spun, and my body ached, clutching tighter around his fingers.

  “Flick, I need all of you open to me.”

  He’d pulled his hand away, much to my whimpering dismay, and placed both on my butt, spreading me wide so nothing was hidden from him.

  “What do you say if you don’t want what I’m doing?” My brain struggled to respond, words a forgotten tool. “Flick?”

  “Kade,” I rasped, my voice rusty.

  “That’s it, love.” His finger slid up my crease, gathering my moisture, only to deposit it somewhere else. My whole body stiffened when I felt his thumb brush my anus, the ring clenching down.

  “Ssh…” he said. “It’s OK. Just say the word and I’ll stop.”

  But I didn’t, and the pad of his thumb began to circle the muscle, soothing it, causing a strange type of pleasure to prickle.

  “I found Renee’s bag of tricks when I was outside. There’s some I think might be of use to us.” I heard the mechanical whine of a sex toy, then felt it brush the lips of my cunt, slowly, slowly sinking in. As did his thumb. He pressed down more firmly, reaching down for something else, when I heard the flip of a bottle top. Thick, slippery lube poured down my seam, his thumb now slipping in the slick before it dripped down onto the vibrator.

  “That’s it, Flick. Doing so, so well,” he said. “Your little cunt is gripping that toy, making everything else tense up. Just give in, love, let the sensation wash over you. Let me make you come so hard.” I jerked when his finger broached the entry to my arse, as the slight popping felt so fucking weird. My clit jumped at the feeling too, throbbing
so wildly, I thought maybe I was about to come.

  “Listen to you pant.” He sounded amused and endlessly patient. “See if you can lengthen those breaths a bit. That’s it. Big breaths in and out.”

  When my breath trickled out of my lungs, making my body limp, he pushed his thumb in.

  “Oh!”

  “That’s it, love. We’re not gonna go any further than this today, but let's see how this feels when you come.” I could feel the press of his legs against mine, his thumb beginning to work faster now as the rest of his hand pushed the vibe back in so that wild buzzing pressed against the spot he’d massaged so thoroughly, waking up all those old aches and creating new ones. Then his other hand moved around to work my clit.

  I had no chance now, of maintaining my breath, of doing anything other than surrendering. So I did. I was just one long lick of aching, throbbing need, and there was so much stimulation going on, I started to feel a little overwhelmed.

  “Good girl. Come hard for me, because when you do, it’s just gonna be me and you. I wanted to do so much, thought about it for so long, but I need inside you so fucking badly. I’m gonna be tough on you, ride you rough until you tell me to stop. Just remember that safe word, love, and come.”

  I did, and it felt like I was swept up on a huge wave, one that was almost frightening in its intensity. But Sen held me through it, keeping up the punishing pace until I cried out. Then, as my body shook, everything was pulled away and replaced by him. I sobbed as the blunt head of his cock rubbed against my overly sensitive folds.

  “Tell me you’re still OK, Flick.” He pushed in an inch, giving me just a taste of him right when I wanted him so much deeper.

  “Please…” I begged instead.

  “Of course, love. Always. We’ll deny you nothing.”

  My mouth was frozen in an O shape as he slammed into me, spearing through all my fluttering like I was nothing, his fingers digging in. But I was everything. I’d always found coming more than once in a row hard, but I hadn’t had sex with Sen. The pleasure didn’t abate, my cunt didn’t stop twitching, Sen’s ragged gasps a testament to that. Instead, I pulled him into me, drawing him along, faster and faster, until we both exploded.

  “Come here, darling, come here.”

  He pulled me hard against him after untying my hands, trying to soothe me, anchor me back in the real world while his own body shook. He ran his hands over my wrists, checking them for circulation and marks, then when satisfied, he tucked me tight against his body, throwing a leg over me to keep me from pulling away.

  As if I would. I felt all floaty and spaced out, my head spinning as my body twitched with the aftershocks. He’d pushed it harder than I’d ever been pushed, and I was shaken to the core, unable to process anything, including the long stream of compliments and sweet talk he mumbled into my hair. But I didn’t need to. In the same way I felt when Aidan and Peter held me, I was allowed time to just give up, lay it all down, and just be in this fuzzy haze, until I finally passed out.

  34

  “What did you do to her?”

  We were all sitting around the table again, trying to use the time to refuel. Well, we were. Aidan picked up my wrist, inspecting the faint line on my skin left by the rope there with an expression of alarm, then anger. I jerked it out of his grip, something that just spiked his ire.

  “I don’t give a shit about remotes or whatever else you blokes want to bring to bed, but hurting her?”

  I got to my feet, still feeling boneless, walking around on swaying feet to deposit myself on Peter’s lap, winding my arms around his neck.

  “Hey, baby,” he said with a smile, bringing his lips down to mine for a slow kiss. “Have fun?”

  I nodded. “I love you, so much.”

  “Yeah?” His eyes sparkled as he watched me. “I think you’re a little pack drunk right now, but I’ll take it. Now, how about something to eat?”

  When I looked up, Sen observed Peter feed me with hungry eyes, observing every mouthful.

  “Are you fucking listening to me? You bruised her! Don’t you know what she’s been through?”

  “Do you?” The two words silenced Aidan in two seconds flat. “Look, mate, I’m not here to take anything from you.”

  “Damn right, you’re not.” Aidan jerked his shirt down, revealing his pink mating mark. “She bit me.”

  “She did, so it stands to reason you could reach over, take her hand, and read how she’s feeling down your bond. Check in with her. Ask her if she’s OK. Don’t start fighting enemies for her. She’s stronger than any of us. She gave birth, she raised a kid on her own, she survived that cunt’s attentions, and she made it here. Everything else…” He shrugged. “See to your mate. Pete’s got the right idea. Feed and hydrate her. Get her ready for what’s coming.”

  I looked around when I felt someone take my hand and smiled when I saw it was Aidan, liking the way his face softened, his eyes shining as he held it.

  “Oh Flick…” he said, leaning in and kissing me. I went loose and limp as both of them did, Peter against my neck, diving down, down into the sweet hum of the pack bond.

  “I need to spend some time with just my mates,” I said when I finally surfaced.

  “Oh, I had some cool ideas for some scenes,” Noah said, looking up from his plate. “We could—”

  “Later, mate,” Sen said. “She knows what she needs, after she’s drunk the rest of that water.”

  I drank it and another bottle, all under his approving eye, but it wasn’t Sen I thought about when I went back to my room with my mates in tow.

  “Is it OK if we just sleep?” I asked as I lay on the bed.

  “Of course, love,” Aidan said, pulling me against him. “Fuck, it feels like a million years since we’ve done this.”

  “Cuddle?”

  “Just…this. Quiet, cuddles, bed, us. And sleep. I dunno about you, but I am trashed.”

  “The heat will break soon. Full moon’s coming,” Peter said, watching me with that steady gaze of his. Like he saw all of me and was happy as a result.

  “But what about the guys, Flick? What happened before? Did Sen… Did he hurt you?”

  “Only when I wanted him to.” I let out a long yawn. “Can we talk about it when I wake up?”

  “Of course, love.”

  I’m not sure how much Aidan slept. My dreams were kind of unsettled. Not outright nightmares, just lots of shadowy shapes pursuing me, tracking me. When my eyes finally opened, there he was, watching me as I yawned, as I flopped back on the bed and looked up at him. I glanced back to see Peter was still asleep, his hand on my hip.

  “You’re worried,” I whispered.

  He resisted that word, but I saw it in the tense line of his body, the muscles in his jaw.

  “You liked things as they were.”

  His eyes dropped down to the bed at that, fingers tracing the folds in the fabric.

  “You don’t want me adding anyone to the pack.”

  “That’s not my choice,” he said finally.

  “Aidan, I’m not asking you to tell me what to do, but I am asking for your opinion.”

  “It’s not… That’s not it.” He shook his head. “Pete and me have been mates for a bit. We know each other, can work well together. I guess I was invested in this thing. Ophelia took us off work while we helped out here, and I kinda threw myself into that. I… When the bruises faded and I started to see you smile, when Kade’s nightmares stopped and he felt OK to sleep in his own bed, I guess I felt like I was part of that, that we did that.”

  I put a hand on his cheek, scratching my fingers through his beard.

  “You were and are. I’ll never forget that, what you did for us. I see you, Aidan. I know you making us breakfast, doing the washing, sitting and watching cartoons with Kade, and rubbing my feet is you telling us over and over how much you love us. And we love you, Aidan. We’re not going anywhere, but we are changing.”

  He placed a kiss on my palm, holding my hand
there as his eyes closed.

  “In a lot of ways, you’re just starting to get to know us. God, I’m only just starting to get to know me. I married Rick straight after university and spent much of my adulthood under his thumb, then I came here. That’s what’s been so amazing about this place. I’ve had a chance to explore things I would never have thought to try. Do as Ophelia instructed and just play. Today, Sen tied me up and made me come and fucked me hard. The marks are from the rope I wanted him to use. It was incredible, but no more than what we have, no more than right now.”

  He watched me intently, a slight frown on his face.

  “But he’s pushing you around, Flick. Telling you what to do. Isn’t he just another controlling dude who’s gonna…”

  “That’s what we’re going to find out. Sen seems to have some alpha tendencies, whatever that means, that manifest in him caring for people in a kind of pushy way. He’s a lot like you, just more insistent.”

  “And that’s what you want?”

  “I don’t know. Right now, it’s hot, sweet, and reminds me of something else. You and especially Peter, I feel like I could do anything and you’d catch me if I fell. In some ways, that makes me brave enough to experiment with Noah’s many, many kinks and to let Sen play games. But ideally, if it turns out we’d make a good pack, it’d be all four of you working with me to raise Kade, keeping this household ticking along, and then when night came, we’d file in here and we’d work together. Noah would be endlessly inventive and keep us from falling into a rut and find out a whole lot more about what turns us on. You would be looking after my best interests and make sure shit didn’t get too crazy. Peter would be my safe harbour, my safe place, somewhere to curl up and recollect myself when things get intense. And Sen would push us, test our boundaries, see if he could get some of what we hold back to surface. Like could he get that secret selfish side of you to come out to play every now and then, the one who isn’t constantly worrying about me. That Aidan who deep down, just wants to dispense with the foreplay and shove me down on the bed, peel my jeans down over my arse, and fuck me.”